DAILY DOOM ANTIDOTE: Ten Things to Know About Denver Debate — 10/4/2012 R
Last night I did a Live-Stream-Transcript of the presidential debate from Denver, which you can checkout HERE if you want to catch up. Megan Fox and I did a post-debate recap show too that’s a quick listen this morning…click HERE for that.
I want to hear all about what YOU thought of the debate in comments below, especially anything your coworkers or friends and family say about Barack Obama’s performance today. In short, Mitt Romney did what he needed to do…which was to stand there and look presidential and show people that, yes, watching him for the next four years would be a good thing and would push aside all of the weirdness and malaise we’ve experienced lately. It was very much a Reagan-Carter moment for a lot of people and I know of a few Obama supporters here in Chicago who went on TV and said that after last night’s performance there is no way they are voting for “The One”.
Here are my Top Ten Things to Know About the Denver Debate Last Night:
10. Obama was injected with amphetamines or something before the debate and they wore off about 20 minutes in. Here in Chicago, word on the street for the last month has been that Valerie Jarrett was specifically tasked with getting Obama off coke and other drugs before the debates so that he would not embarrass himself on stage for an hour and a half. So, word is that Obama’s been detoxing since at least September. This explains how haggard he’s looked and how prickly he’s acted for a while now…it’s what addicts look and act like when they’re cut off from their drugs. Remember that a President can have whatever drugs he wants. The Secret Service are not there to keep the president from breaking the law, they are just there to keep him alive. Obama’s main drug suppliers are the junior staffers who work in the White House who go to Lafayette Park and buy him whatever he wants…and he also gets special deliveries from his friend Bobby Titcombe in Hawaii, who brings him “fish and poi” to the White House (that’s Hawaiian slang for “weed and coke”). To get through the almost two hours of being on TV, Obama looks like he needed a big injection of beta-blockers and/or amphetamines. If you noticed at the beginning of the debate he was talking fast, acting erratic, and blinking like CRAZY he was still jazzed up by whatever they gave him. About twenty minutes later, it seems like the adrenaline in his system from being in front of the crowd might have caused the uppers to wear off…and his energy levels collapsed after that. By the end of the debate, Obama looked like he was aching for a new fix. This could be the reason Michelle Obama rushed him off stage and skipped the traditional “let’s waive to the crowd for a while” schtick. She could tell he needed to get out of sight because he totally lost it out there.
9. Obama was rumpled and sloppy and looked like he slept in a halfway house last night. Remember when Chris Matthews used to wax on almost pornographically about Obama’s creased pants and how sharp he looked? That was a long time ago, sister. The man who was out there on stage last night looked like he got his clothes from a consignment shop or the lost and found bin of a discount dry cleaners. He was rumpled and honestly looked like he might smell a little of urine. What on Earth was he doing immediately prior to arriving for the debate? Mitt Romney looked crisp, prepared, and responsible. Barack Obama was a walking mess. It was almost disrespectful to the audience that he showed up looking so disheveled.
8. Obama smirked a lot, behaved like a bratty child at times, and when he wasn’t speaking stared down at the floor like he was thinking “What the heck am I even doing here?”. This was just weird. When he wasn’t talking, Obama would droop his head down like he was napping for a while. Sometimes he would giggle or smirk. When Romney would say something criticizing the bizarre and destructive things that Obama has done as president, he’d smirk or grimace. I didn’t see a president up there as much as I saw a bratty child who was making faces while being scolded by the teacher.
7. Moderator Jim Lehrer did a piss-poor job, clearly favored Obama, and yet Obama was STILL trounced. Lehrer repeatedly interrupted Romney but didn’t do that to Obama. It turns out that Obama got to talk for a full four minutes longer than Romney. When Obama was stumbling and in trouble, Lehrer rescued him. Romney had to actually debate Lehrer many times when Lehrer pressed interrogations of him. Obama was treated with kid gloves as usual. One of the best moments of the night was when Romney told Lehrer that he’d end the subsidies to PBS and Lehrer recoiled like a vampire doused in holy water. I just loved that. At the end, Lehrer oddly remarked that he had not done a good job as moderator…and Obama jumped in and said “You were fabulous, Jim!” and Romney just shook his head at the two of them.
6. Mitt Romney had one of the best and most destructive lines I have ever heard in a debate: when he compared Obama talking to things his five sons would say when they were small children and tried to get him to believe their lies. This was wonderful. I’ve never seen a grown man humiliated this way before…being compared to small children and not being able to give any sort of retort because it was totally accurate. Romney did this after Obama kept insisting that Romney would raise taxes by $5 trillion or some nonsense. Romney kept saying that Obama was wrong and told him to stop repeating that. Obama wouldn’t, so Romney had to finally tell him that just because he keeps saying something doesn’t make it true…and then Romney said, “you know, I raised five boys and they’d often keep saying something until they thought I’d believe it and it never worked”. Obama put his head down after that and didn’t try that $5 trillion thing again. Romney totally scolded Obama and Obama had no retort for it. It. Was. Epic.
5. Without a TelePrompTer for a crutch (that he has depended on for four years) Obama could barely string two sentences together without rambling, looking out into the crowd lost, and seeming disoriented. Remind me again why this man was supposed to be the greatest orator in the world and the most eloquent and soaring political speech-giver? Because he was a dull stumbling bumbler last night. I don’t even think Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann could masturbate to that debate performance Obama gave. Maybe Anderson Cooper, though.
4. Obama’s hands were skeletal, his face was twitching, his eyes had deep dark circles around them, and he generally looked like death walking. In Chicago, most people on the ground think Obama has ‘The Slims”, which is black slang here for AIDS. I personally think he has Parkinson’s disease…which is actually related to cocaine abuse in black men. Obama shakes, his face twitches, and he’s gaunt these days. This is more than just severe drug abuse in the White House…this is illness. The man is not well, and it’s showing. Is it ‘The Slims” or is it Parkinson’s? You be the judge. But someone with a five-star chef living downstairs, access to any kind of food that he wants, and nonstop vacations and “golf outings” should not look like a desiccated corpse walking around on stage in Denver. Something is seriously wrong. Of course, his medical records are kept hidden and not released to the public (unlike any president before him). I used to volunteer a lot with AIDS charities here in Boystown and would deliver holiday meals to shut-in AIDS patients who looked more robust and alive than Barack Obama did last night. Minitrue won’t talk about it…or even mention it…but THAT was not a healthy man up there. That was someone who will be in a wheelchair or be bed-ridden soon.
3. Michelle Obama (dressed up like Grimace from McDonaldLand) stormed the stage when the debate was done and angrily dragged her husband offstage as quickly as possible, upset with his poor performance. I think Michelle Obama was MAD. She knew Obama lost big. She practically dragged him off the stage. There is no doubt in my mind she shouted at him the whole limo ride back to wherever they went afterwards. I’m sure after that Obama called Reggie Love on the phone to blubber to him about how mean Michelle is being. Their whole relationship is based on the simple fact that Michelle married him to be his beard and that he then would give her everything she wants in life as she keeps his secrets. Last night, he didn’t keep his end of the bargain up. And Michelle was STEAMED! And did you catch the bit in the beginning where Obama called her “Sweetie” when he talked about it being their anniversary. It was so strange and forced…more awkward than Al Gore’s bizarre attempt to kiss Tipper in 2000. This was totally something consultants told him to do so he’d seem human and appeal to voters…but it just ended up looking icky.
2. Even the Ministry of Truth (Minitrue, for short) that is the corrupt, vintage media had to admit that Obama’s performance was a disaster. Chris Matthews had to admit Obama bombed. Andrew Sullivan called it a disaster. Other members of Minitrue claimed “it was a tie or draw”. Yah, right. Obama’s sorry, disheveled clock got CLEANED last night and everyone knew it. I have no idea how they will spin this but know today will be enjoyable watching them try. I doubt even Minitrue can rewrite history enough to award Obama a retroactive win here.
1. Romney succeeded in drawing a stark contrast between himself and Obama and offered voters a real choice that did not present Obama in a good light. Mitt Romney has really grown on me. For an hour and a half I watched a man take every punch that Jim Lehrer threw at him. Obama was there too, but he was kind of irrelevant. Lehrer was fighting for Obama and trying to land the punches on Romney that Obama just couldn’t. So Romney had to hold his own against TWO people…with one of them being the moderator. And Romney succeeded impressively. He is knowledgeable, quick on his feet, and came across as reassuringly competent. And he was handsome, too! I’d never really noticed that before…but he’s very handsome, strong-looking, and is the kind of president that in a movie or TV show would triumph over space aliens and successfully manage whatever natural disaster is coming. He exudes confidence and instills in me a belief that with him at the helm we can get everything back on track. Meanwhile, Barack Obama looked like a low-rent drug addict who was jonesing for his next fix and was totally disinterested in being there.
It was a fun debate to watch. I think it convinced a lot of people that it’s time to let Obama go so that he can retire to that estate in Hawaii that Penny Pritzker and his other supporters are buying for him. Perhaps he needs a visit to Betty Ford before he moves to Honolulu but his time in the White House is limited at this point and everyone, including himself, knows it.
Can you collect some good reactions to the debate below in comments? I am especially interested to see if any of the Tokyo Rose conservative writers out there like Erik Erikson, George Will, or Peggy Noonan attempt to breed Eeyores today and claim Obama did well or that Romney didn’t do “well enough”. These guys usually like to write something contrarian just to get attention…but they are also paid a lot of money to demoralize conservatives at every turn, so I wonder if they will be out doing damage control on Obama’s behalf today.
What else are people buzzing about today?
I’d especially love ground reports of local reactions to what happened last night.
What else is on your mind today?
This is an open thread, as is usual for your Daily Doom Antidote.